How to Wallpaper

How to Wallpaper

By Simonbook - 26 May 2015 in Rants 361

How to Wallpaper

Don't. Find another way. Burn the house down. Run away, or maybe paint, do anything but attempting wallpapering.

Don't watch experts do it on YouTube, they are liars, it's all photoshopped.
The paste won't work, it will be lumpy, too runny, too thick, and on everything, everywhere.
Paper will crease, bend, curl, come to life.
You will drop ANYTHING you take up the ladder, you will then fall off the ladder.
If you get this far, the paper will not be straight, ever, your once straight looking walls will actually be from Piza.
Any paper over run you attempt to cut off will cut diagonal no matter what you do.
Paper will have lumps and bubbles.
Once lumps and bubbles are removed, they will reappear by magic.
Light switch to paper around? Fuck it, paper over it.
Got windows to paper around? Smash the windows, burn the paper and hide.
Door? Use it.

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