The Circular Banking Clusterfuck

The Circular Banking Clusterfuck

By Simonbook - 11 Jun 2015 in Rants 774

The Circular Banking Clusterfuck

I am working on a personal project that involves taking online payments. As a web dev I've done quite a few of these over the years but never for myself. To be honest, I never knew the pains my customers had gone through to get each of the criteria required sorted out behind the scenes.

Since investigating the various ways you can take a payment online I've come to realize that on top of the layer of disgust I already had for banks and the entire money system as a whole, there is yet another way that they can make us all pay multiple times (If you have not seen the free movie Zeitgeist - I suggest you watch it right away on YouTube or Netflix).

As an average internet punter, you may not know the nose-bleeding agony of trying to organize the seemingly simplistic concept of taking a payment online, NONE of them are simple, if they are (I did find one) they may not be available in your country (this happened) or some other roadblock looms just as you get excited about finally being able to stop reading the many many many details / plans / options / development notes etc.

After around 2 weeks of trialling some services and rebuilding my payment page a few times to suit these fuckers, I settled on something, registered then waited for a fucking week for them to call me, only to be told I will be charged a setup fee of $150 followed by $50 per month for 100 transactions then 50c per transaction after that, and my bank would be calling me to discuss setting up a merchant account - they just called, and guess what $150 setup fee and they also take a cut per transaction.

Don't get me wrong here, I get that businesses need to make money, but FUCK.

I asked the bank why the setup fee considering I'm already a customer?
They said they need to give me a number for it. Ok. Sure, gimmie a $150 number, BUT WHY?
The answer: "People you don't know will be paying you"
I said - "But if I sell something to someone I dont know on Trademe and give them my bank account number, there's no bank fee, or magic number?"
The number is needed for an online transaction...
Okaaay...So who is actually handling this transaction? Why I am I paying everyone? Wtf am I paying for? Why are there other services that do this for fucking free?

Ok - I got a bit ranty there and did not answer anything - there's no point. Banks own your balls, even if you have a vagina.

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