Simons Photography - New Zealand Photographer
Animals & Insects
Architecture & Buildings
Hot Rods - Orewa
Sometimes I write stuff.
The First Selfie
Snapped in New York on the roof of the Marceau Studio on Fifth Avenue, across the street from St. Patrick's Cathedral, this picture features...
Bacon and Egg McVomit
Once upon a time there was a pie place, it was called Georgie Pie. Young and drunk it was the best place to stop in the middle of the night...
Read and then spew in the Car
So what’s happening there is the brain’s getting mixed messages. It’s getting signals from the muscles and the eyes saying we are still and
100 Tips from a Professional Photographer
This list is for me to re-read at my leisure, but you can read it too :p Just because someone has an expensive camera doesn't mean that t...
Here, for the record, are all of the unicorn mentions in the King James Bible: Numbers 23:22 — God brought them out of Egypt; he hath as
Do not Share This
Humans are built for anarchy, if only by virtue of the fact that cogito, ergo, sum. It’s cool to have a spine and a strong sense of self...
The First Photo Ever
Boulevard du Temple, a daguerreotype made by Louis Daguerre in 1838, is generally accepted as the earliest photograph to include people. It
The most annoying Christmas song is...
The Mailbox Project
I have decided to start shooting (with camera) New Zealand mailboxes, with the intention of creating a 'coffee table' style book of interest...
What is Black Friday?
Contrary to popular belief, the term Black Friday has nothing to do with retailers’ bottom lines turning from red to black (more on that lat...
Not everyone is not stupid
There are two wolves who are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. The question is... which wolf wins?
Whats with all the Smiths?
Everybody knows a Smith. There's Will Smith. Of course, who can forget Kevin Smith? And for a short time, a nazi-fighting archaeologist you
Whats with the clapping?
Why is it we strike our hands together violently to indicate we're appreciative of what someone did? It’s an odd thing, an arbitrary cultura...
Things to do while shopping
Set all the alarm clocks in to go off at 5-minute intervals. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle...
You always… or You never… No one always or never does anything. People don’t see themselves as one-dimensional, so you shouldn’t at...
The Power Of Love - Huey Lewis
The Subject of Cheese
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
The First Guitar Effects Pedal
The earliest sound effects were strictly studio productions. In the mid to late 1940s, recording engineers and experimental musicians such a...
Information vs Knowledge
You might know what a pack of cards is, but if you dont know any games, they are just coasters.
10 Reasons why Buying Music is better than a Cup of Coffee
Yet another guitar solo
As well as taking far too many photos and upsetting grammar nazis with my semi-eloquent rants, I also like to spend time hurting guitars. H...
Grand Theft Auto 6 News
1. GTA 6 WILL be released. The release date is unknown and could be anytime in the foreseeable future, assuming that date gives Rockstar eno...
Delorean Hot Wheels Found!
So I finally, after around a year of searching local shops, found some Hot Wheels BTTF cars. While I am super happy about this, I really wis...
Words You Probably Didn’t Know Were Portmanteaus
Don’t know what a portmanteau is? If you have heard of the words brunch, blog and pixel, then yes, you know portmanteaus (just not what they...
16 Phrase Origins
1. The word Bupkis, common slang for nothing, comes from the Yiddish phrase meaning having about as much worth as goat turds. 2. The phr...
NZ Photography Laws
So last week in Pak n Save I was told that I am not allowed to take photos. Turns out that legally, as long as I'm not shooting people, this...
How to be an Opportunistic Photographer
It's all in the eyes. I believe you first need to be the kind of person who not just notices things, but has a second look at things with...
Twenty indicators that signal you may be living in the Matrix
1. You spend most of your time devoted to paying off a mortgage rather than enjoying life. 2. You can’t wait for the weekend to come.
The Problem with Shoes
I have come to the conclusion that socks should just be 'indoor shoes' - How I came to this epiphany is really quite simple, there is so...
GTA5 Fan / Windmill Madness
Not sure WTF is going on here. The first lobby I was in was full of people so I assumed one of them was using Mod Menu or whatever to spawn
Toilet Paper - The other debate
8 New Punctuation Marks We Need
What does your car colour say about you?
Pen clicking finger drummers
We've all been put in the situation where someone is drumming their fingers, clicking a pen, humming a loop or some other irritating thing,
The New Zealand Flag
If you are not from around here or haven't been paying attention to the media (I wouldn't suggest you do anyway) there is a debate going on
Worlds End - What would you miss?
So I was reading an article at http://sott.net titled 'Is something coming in September Why are so many people storing food and supplies' -...
Failure in life
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
Android Operating System One Year From Being Sentient
A confidential report seen by The Allium confirms that the android operating system is now only one year away from being sentient and is bui...
It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder...
Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.
Half the harm
Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm. But the harm does not inte...
The Martian by Andy Wier
They thought he was dead, so they left without him. Kinda sounds like Home Alone, it kinda is. There are accidents, lots of swearing, incred...
A young man discovers that his father was from another dimension and that he is the key to the operation of a crystal that can be the decidi...
Influx by Daniel Suarez
Physicist Jon Grady and his team have discovered a device that can reflect gravity - a triumph that will revolutionize the field of physics
Google Photos App Ruined
Late last week Google Photos updated, lets call it an update - it was more of a total downgrade in my opinion. Google Photos used to conta...
That embarrassing song you like
Everyone has a song that they are ashamed to admit they like. My best guess its probably an 80s song. When you consider the fact that un...
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Here's a fancy word for you: Anthropocentrism. It's basically the idea that human beings are at the center of all things on the planet and i...
The Circular Banking Clusterfuck
I am working on a personal project that involves taking online payments. As a web dev I've done quite a few of these over the years but neve...
You know whats not cool
How to Wallpaper
Don't. Find another way. Burn the house down. Run away, or maybe paint, do anything but attempting wallpapering. Don't watch experts do i...
Some things for you to repost
100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name...
Not the band who wrote the song Eye of the tiger, the other thing, the reality tv show. Is it meant to be a reality show? I don't know, but...
10 Deadliest Jobs
10 Deadliest Jobs
A good example
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Bill Nye - Undeniable
Bill Nye has always and will always be that spokesperson for science who can engage people who know nothing about science. He is erudite, el...
Please Enjoy Parking
Please If its this enjoyable, should you need to say that? Enjoy parking? 120 mins - Are we enjoying this because its 120 mins? IMO 2 Hou...
The Red Delorean
So I'm still trying to hunt down a BTTF Delorean from the Hot Wheels Collector series. This one was was close, but it's a standard Delo...
Right now someone who works for Facebook is getting tens of thousands of error messages and frantically trying to find the problem before th...
Why does the sun shine?
They Might Be Giants - Why Does the Sun Shine? (The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas)Directed by Hine Mizushima. From the DVD/CD set Here C...
Not so blissful
The default Windows XP wallpaper containing rolling green hills, blue sky and fluffy white clouds is a real photo, taken by a real photograp...
Just a moment
Just a moment to most people might be a few seconds or some other very short interval, but what you may not know is that a moment was once a...
Cure for seasickness
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Photography Cheat Sheet
Want to capture excellent photos? Then you need to understand three things — the aperture, the shutter speed, and the ISO. The aperture
Why u no blog
No words, that is what I have posted in the last week or so. Why? Assisted a friend with shooting a music video at his farm. Shot him,
Back to the Future behind the scenes
The Same Mistakes
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
HULK SMASH! That's one of the nicer things that go through my head when the device in question is either not doing that I want INSTANTLY, no...
Hot Wheels Retro Entertainment Series
A while ago Hot Wheels started producing movie/tv cars under the category Hot Wheels Retro Entertainment Series. Normally I only collect1/25...
The Douche Burger
New York City’s 666 Burger food truck has a treat for you. For just $666 you can purchase a foie gras-stuffed Kobe patty covered in Gruyere
Dear Humanity, please stop this shit.
Oculus Rift bought by Facebook
I really like Oculus Rift. It's fun, interesting and has great potential. This might be old news to you, but I just read that Facebook bough...
The Worst Sims Play
Years ago when I played The Sims I downloaded and added a Hacked telescope, when used at the right time, Sims get abducted by aliens and som...
Guess which answer has the highest percentage
The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
David Michell - Backstory
You might know David Mitchell from the UK panel show circuit - such hits/bullshit as Would I lie to you,The Big Fat Quiz, Mock the Week and
The Great NZ HDMI rip off
I was just flicking through the Dick Smith mailer while eating toast this morning, as you do, when I saw that they have HDMI cables on speci...
I wonder why as hip-hop got past the 1980s, that those homies didn't swap to wearing giant digital clocks around their necks..Y'all know wut...
What is the most annoying thing about Facebook
I didn't think I'd ever review a website, based on that previous statement, I may never again, however since that is exactly what I'm about
Fans of the 2001 Broken Lizard comedy Super Troopers have been hoping for a sequel to the film for years. While there have been rumblings an...
Can't afford Oculus Rift? Get Cardboard - GoogleGoogle lists companies and organizations on this page at its own discretion and convenien...
The 4000mph Hyperloop Train
The Tesla Motors co-founder called the fast train a cross between a Concorde and a railgun and an air hockey table at the D11 Conference ear...
If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance that you won't have any.
App Review: Quora
Quora is a question-and-answer website where questions are created, answered, edited and organized by its community of users. On and off I
Black Books Season 1
Entire season 1. Black Books S01E01 - Cooking the BooksChannel 4 sitcom about the antics of foul tempered and wildly eccentric bookshop own...
I've just finished reading Flash Forward by Robert J. Sawyer. I got the feeling about halfway through that there may have been a movie or TV...
Free Windows 10 Upgrade
Microsoft has announced that Windows 10 will be a free upgrade for Windows 7 and Windows 8 users, licensed or not when it launches this summ...
The Blackest Black Ever
VantaBlack - What the funk is it? - Its name comes from the term Vertically Aligned NanoTube Arrays. There is nothing blacker, not even a ba...
The Science of Awkward
The Science of Awkwardnessawkward......... Empathetic Embarrassment: The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows: Why Are We Morbidly Curious? Open L...
What do you tell your friend about his shitty band
No Movies or No Music
The Worlds Deepest Hole
Remove this rusted metal cap and the world's deepest hole tunnels miles into the Earth. However, we know more about certain distant galaxies...
Get ready for this - at 26 minutes and 53 seconds after 9a.m, we will pass a date and time represented by the first 10 digits of Pi. Very ex...
The first video on YouTube
Me at the zoo is the first video to have been uploaded to YouTube. It was uploaded at 8:27 pm on Saturday, April 23, 2005 by the site's cofo...
Which time travel direction would you go?
How to survive various animal attacks
No Facebook or No Internet?
Shooting Levick in the face
Had a great afternoon yesterday once again shooting Simon Levick for his soon to be launched website. I have permission to post a chunk of t...
Would you rather be a dragon or own one
Songs are Time Travel
Songs really are like a form of time travel because they really have moved forward in a bubble. Everyone who's connected with it, the studio...
I've always been a massive fan of Time Travel books, sadly they are few and far between when you are an avid reader. I'm about 80% through t...
I'm not to old for this shit
I've been playing guitar for quite a while, so naturally when I meet someone eventually I'll ask if they play music. Its actually amazing ho...
My Grand Theft Auto Improvements - Pt. 4
I know, I know - I wasn't going to do any more GTA posts, but fuck it, I'm just going to keep this one simple. Most of these are Day kind of...
Web Toy - You have a message
I had some programming down time the other day, but still felt like making something (its my job and my hobby, lucky I know) So I made a sli...
One day someone cut me off so bad in traffic I was lost for a decent swear word to use - in a split second my brain engaged my mouth at full...
Hell for the company
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Canadians have been asked to stop drawing Leonard Nimoy-inspired Mr Spock pictures on their $5 bank notes. For years, fans of the famous
GTA5 Online - NEW MODES!
The new modes are called Come Out to Play, Siege Mentality, and Hasta La Vista. In Come Out to Play, a team of three are racing to make it
There comes a point when you are thirsty that despite the massive amount of drinks available, they all suddenly look the same - Coke, Fanta,...
Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser.
MortPlayer Audio Book Player
I decided to review an Android app because sometimes the good ones are hard to find. IMO Audiobooks are bit of a niche thing as far as phone...
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had...
10 Universal Android Tips and Tricks That You Should Know
10 Universal Android Tips and Tricks That You Should KnowI'll admit that my relationship with Android got off to a rocky start. My first sma...
When Tech Fails
Nothing fucking sucks as much as your hard drive not wanting to be a hard drive any more.
Antidisestablishmentarianism - what a word! Do you know it? I've known it since I was about 10 years old. My uncle would ask me to try and s...
When NASA started sending astronauts into space, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this...
Facebook has been criticized for making people envious and unhappy due to the constant exposure to positive yet unrepresentative highlights
A high-powered mutant
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live,...
I was browsing for audiobooks the other day when I read the following about a book titled 'Curious' - I thought it was interesting. We've c...
My Grand Theft Auto Improvements - Pt. 3
Looking back I've noticed that I've posted quite a lot about GTA5 so this will be the last one for a while unless something amazing happens
Lots of shooting
I've had a busy few days - shooting in Puhoi and its famous cheese shop (as yet not uploaded), Wenderholm park (as yet not uploaded) and tod...
As a prelude to the book the author states that he had an idea for a book, then wrote it in reverse to see where it went, which works. Witho...
A Million Ways To Die in the West
So I've just finished the audio book of A Million Ways To Die in the West - very funny and not badly written. At the point where I had about...
As my car is out of commission, I initially found shooting from a moving vehicle bit of a challenge, especially ending up with power poles i...
Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. Intelligent people take a knife, cut the cord, and set themselves free from the fools.
Don't drink and internet.
My Grand Theft Auto Improvements - Pt. 2b
In GTA5 occasionally a crate is dropped, full of goodies which as mostly the same, a t-shirt, some RP, a gun etc, here's my idea for an onli...
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.
Neural adaptation or sensory adaptation is a change over time in the responsiveness of the sensory system to a constant stimulus. It is usua...
Valentines Day Origin
Though no one has pinpointed the exact origin of the holiday, one good place to start is ancient Rome, where men hit on women by, well, hitt...
Im not racist but...
Most stick figures are black.
Rage Against the Routine
At the risk of sounding like one of those awakening/conspiracy know the truth type articles that are often shared around social networks (an...
In thermodynamics, entropy (usual symbol S) is a measure of the number of specific ways in which a thermodynamic system may be arranged, com...
Lighthouses are more helpful than churches.
Predator Manhole Cover
While outside Pak n Save Silverdale today I noticed (I notice things) this manhole cover with Predator writing on it. Feel free to google i...
I am a fucking idiot
So I thought I would create a new module which shows the most popular post for the week. To do this I needed to change how the date was stor...
30 ways to lose an argument
Most people enjoy a good discussion (lets call it that) or debate (that's better) however not many people like to lose one, some are gracefu...
My Grand Theft Auto Improvements - Pt. 2
Since posting part one, Rockstar have made some suggestions about Grand Theft Auto 6: Rockstar Games President, Leslie Benzies said: We've g...
Everybody is a genius
Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
Why Morrissey is a dickhead
I found out a few years ago by utterly wasting my time to go and see this morons show, that you will be searched at the door for meat, yes,
Rockstar confirms GTA 6
We haven't even received GTA V on the PC yet, which was delayed from January to March, but now we're hearing the first rumbles of GTA VI. Ye...
Making Money in Music
Where does all the money go? Check out this infographic which goes some way to explain the fuck all that musicians end up with (with some ex...
5 YouTube Tricks You Probably Didn’t Know
5 YouTube Tricks You Probably Didn't KnowChances are most of us are quite familiar with YouTube. YouTube is the largest video channel on the...
Dreamweaver - sigh. Anyone who uses it will understand what the sigh is for. It's not an endearing sigh like the ones you might produce th...
Demolition Jet Boats
I used to have a category for great ideas, which after review seemed ambitious, however I do from time to time have ideas, some good, some b...
Mad Season (Band)
Woke up to some great news on the internet - Mad Season, one of my fav old grunge bands have reformed with the surviving members and guests
I've just finished reading (audio book) Prince Lestat, the 11th book in the Vampire Chronicles series and unlike movie sequels that let you
My Grand Theft Auto Improvements - Pt. 1
So I've just finished the PS4 single player - having done that, I have a few ideas for improving Grand Theft Auto.See all the guns in the sc...
If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough.
Simon Levick Music
I am currently working with a guy who is a very talented guitarist, singer and songwriter and also my friend. He has a very interesting styl...
Hot Rod Show
Went and shot the Orewa hot rod show today - man it was hot and man there were some seriously awesome cars there. I have added a new categor...
What have I missed on Facebook?
Thought I might pop back to Facebook for a quick look - Last week I decided to do just 1 post, requested some suggestions for a name for the...
The Best Helmet Ever
How hot is it?
It's been hot. It's been humid, sticky and fucking hot. I don't mind heat but humidity on the other hand, in what is classified as a sub tro...
New Licence Plate
Man! I can't believe how many views my stuff is getting!When I started this and snobbed Faceberk I really thought this place would be just m...
Making Alex Famous
So I was at Albany Mall today when I noticed that the Barfoot digital display had crashed, so of course I had to investigate. I got the brow...
People yawning in their cars on the way to work might well be screaming.
The Domains Rant
I wasn't sure if this should go in Rants or Geeky as this is going to be a geeky rant, indecision aside, here it is:So since deciding to bui...
The Speed of Shadows
Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light, they say, forgetful of the shadow's speed.
The Gas Coffee Situtation
I don't know about you, but when I go to a gas station, I want fucking gas, if I want books I go to a fucking book shop, if I want a phone,
The subtle art of not giving a fuck
Despite the title I suggest you give a fuck about this article if you want to relax more with your day to day life.People often say the key
Some people are poetry, some are just mumbles.
The Anubis Gates
This time it's not an audio book, it's a real book - I haven't read an actual real book in a while, which is strange for me as I do enjoy th...
New And Improved Names
Some of these are fuckin hilarious!! 20 New And Improved Names For Boring, Everyday StuffPosted: Words are hard. Whether it's due to a
When God talks back...
When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.
Back to the T-Shirt Future
Delorean DMC-12 unofficial 2012 concept
Wow - quite an improvement! Delorean DMC-12 unofficial 2012 conceptI am a big fan of the Delorean DMC-12. Even without Doc Brown's time-mac...
PSN is down
PSN was down, it's still glitchy as fuck - getting signed out, GTA5 online servers are either all empty or missions time out. Shitty.
The GTA5 for PS4 Saga
So a 2-3 weeks ago I bought GTA5 for PS4 online from JB HI-FI, the site said it was in stock (maybe you can see where this is going), the pu...
Inside an acoustic guitar!
Back to the Future Time
Just when you thought Back to the Future has already given you everything it could, there is more. I watched this again last night and as I
GTA5 Licence Plate Change
If like me you made a poor first choice with your licence plate using iFruit and found you can no longer edit it - don't cry, you can get it...
Interesting...Guy Kawasaki: Facebook Should Be Wary of Losing Its Users' TrustFormer Apple chief evangelist Guy Kawasaki discusses what he w...
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for life. Give an octopus nunchucks, no one's eating fish ever again.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
How To Block Ads on Android
Yay for this!How To Block Ads In Android Apps, Games And BrowsersAds are a necessary evil. Many websites and applications are providing you
I was just watching TV, which I very rarely do, and caught an advert for cat treats, which made a feature out of the calorie count per treat...
Drive Club - PS4
I bought a PS4 a few weeks ago, it came with Drive Club free, however they had none in stock, which means since GTA5 for PS4 cannot be found...
I'm currently reading, rather listening - with Audible, to Micheal Crichton: Timeline. Michael Crichton's novel opens on the threshold
Rockstar - Enough Snow!
It's been snowing in GTA5 for ages, stop it Rockstar, I'm sick of it - It's ruining the snipe distance and high speed cornering is bullshit....
This is my camera (Canon 600D) having a rest on the beach.
This was on my phone, awesome.
My Next Vehicle
I have decided my next vehicle is going to be a Ford Ranger:
Things to do in GTA5
I've played Grand Theft Auto from the beginning; GTA1 - so yes, I'm a fan. I'm currently waiting on 2 things, heists and my copy of GTA5
Arkles Bay ReShoot
I spent the day at Arkles Bay again today, took around 1400 shots and got super sunburnt. More soon.
Oculus Rift Test
Currently having a go on an Oculus Rift. This is seriously one of the coolest things ever.
New Category for Skies
I like shooting the sky, I like the shapes clouds make, and the incredible array and variations it creates. http://simonbook.co.nz/gall...
Photography and Filters
The other day I posted a sunset on Facebook and I was asked how much saturation I must have put on it to get it so red - this has prompted t...
So I got a PS4. My first impressions, once I got past all the start up bullshit was that the interface looks and sounds like Gran Turismo. I...
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Time Travel Taxi
Things are not always what they seem
Saw this while out shopping today...
One Hundred Trillion Dollars
What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof.
True mark of adulthood: Instead of your parents scheduling your doctor's appointments, you just avoid going to the doctor and hope you don't...
Outside just now
Improved Mazda Logo
Saw this in a carpark today...
One can never call a man honest until he's had the chance to steal.
I'm sure this has happened to you
I'm sure this has happened to you. You go into a shop, say Hello to a sales person, and they reply on auto pilot with something like Good th...
NZ National Anthem
Last night I found myself at school prize giving for my kids. Some way into it, it was announced that we should all stand for the national a...
A poem that I like
This is by Stan Rice - the late husband of Anne Rice:I will tell youWhere the Devil lived.He lived in The padlockedIron-wire toolshedWh...