Simons Photography - New Zealand Photographer
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Bacon and Egg McVomit

Bacon and Egg McVomit

Once upon a time there was a pie place, it was called Georgie Pie.  Young and drunk it was the best place to stop in the middle of the night, buy a pie for next to nothing, ignore the heat warning, jam it in your face and burn the shit out of the roof of... Read More »

The Problem with Shoes

The Problem with Shoes

I have come to the conclusion that socks should just be 'indoor shoes' - How I came to this epiphany is really quite simple, there is something inherently wrong with shoes.   Most shoes, apart from many womens shoes (btw I'm not considering Jand... Read More »

Pen clicking finger drummers

Pen clicking finger drummers

We've all been put in the situation where someone is drumming their fingers, clicking a pen, humming a loop or some other irritating thing, where you simply must put a stop to it. You patiently wait, maybe they will stop any moment now - they do not.  &n... Read More »

The New Zealand Flag

The New Zealand Flag

If you are not from around here or haven't been paying attention to the media (I wouldn't suggest you do anyway) there is a debate going on in New Zealand regarding whether we should change/update our flag.   As to be expected this is a contentious... Read More »

Google Photos App Ruined

Google Photos App Ruined

Late last week Google Photos updated, lets call it an update - it was more of a total downgrade in my opinion.   Google Photos used to contain what I feel was some of the best free image editing tools you can get, spot editing, instant (fake) HDR, struct... Read More »

The Circular Banking Clusterfuck

The Circular Banking Clusterfuck

I am working on a personal project that involves taking online payments. As a web dev I've done quite a few of these over the years but never for myself. To be honest, I never knew the pains my customers had gone through to get each of the criteria required s... Read More »

How to Wallpaper

How to Wallpaper

Don't. Find another way. Burn the house down. Run away, or maybe paint, do anything but attempting wallpapering.   Don't watch experts do it on YouTube, they are liars, it's all photoshopped.   The paste won't work, it will be lumpy, too run... Read More »

Please Enjoy Parking

Please Enjoy Parking

Please If its this enjoyable, should you need to say that?  Enjoy parking?   120 mins - Are we enjoying this because its 120 mins? IMO 2 Hours sounds better, although I doubt whether anyone was ever in a seriously bad mood until they parked (unless... Read More »

Device Rage

Device Rage

HULK SMASH! That's one of the nicer things that go through my head when the device in question is either not doing that I want INSTANTLY, not doing anything, or the worst thing, seemingly pretending to do something.   PEBCAK (Problem Exists Between... Read More »

Hot Wheels Retro Entertainment Series

Hot Wheels Retro Entertainment Series

A while ago Hot Wheels started producing movie/tv cars under the category Hot Wheels Retro Entertainment Series.  Normally I only collect1/25 scale cars, but since the 1/25 BTTF cars are also priced well above all the others, I thought this might satisfy... Read More »

Oculus Rift bought by Facebook

Oculus Rift bought by Facebook

I really like Oculus Rift. It's fun, interesting and has great potential. This might be old news to you, but I just read that Facebook bought Oculus VR, the company responsible for the Oculus Rift virtual reality gaming headset sometime around March 2014. ... Read More »

The Great NZ HDMI rip off

The Great NZ HDMI rip off

I was just flicking through the Dick Smith mailer while eating toast this morning, as you do, when I saw that they have HDMI cables on special at $29.99 - saving $29.99, which, if you can't be fucked doing maths involving that many 9s, comes to $59.98.  T... Read More »

Rage Against the Routine

Rage Against the Routine

At the risk of sounding like one of those awakening/conspiracy know the truth type articles that are often shared around social networks (and yes I have read them too), I thought I might share what may be seen as something similar to an extent.   ... Read More »

The Domains Rant

The Domains Rant

I wasn't sure if this should go in Rants or Geeky as this is going to be a geeky rant, indecision aside, here it is:  So since deciding to build a social network I have been racking my brains for a name, and of course the name will require a matching... Read More »

I am a fucking idiot

I am a fucking idiot

So I thought I would create a new module which shows the most popular post for the week. To do this I needed to change how the date was stored in the database. Rule number one of fucking around with this shit is to make a backup first - I did not because I am... Read More »

Why Morrissey is a dickhead

Why Morrissey is a dickhead

I found out a few years ago by utterly wasting my time to go and see this morons show, that you will be searched at the door for meat, yes, searched for meat and rejected if anything resembling a meat product is found on your person. What Lord Morrissey fails... Read More »

What have I missed on Facebook?

What have I missed on Facebook?

Thought I might pop back to Facebook for a quick look - Last week I decided to do just 1 post, requested some suggestions for a name for the social network site I am building...anyway here is what I'm NOT missing.  Being included/tagged in Nike shoes... Read More »

The Gas Coffee Situtation

The Gas Coffee Situtation

I don't know about you, but when I go to a gas station, I want fucking gas, if I want books I go to a fucking book shop, if I want a phone, well, you get the idea. This rant is mostly about the BP gas stations as I find them the most guilty of what I am about... Read More »

The GTA5 for PS4 Saga

So a 2-3 weeks ago I bought GTA5 for PS4 online from JB HI-FI, the site said it was in stock (maybe you can see where this is going), the purchase went through seemingly fine. We checked the mailbox every day, nothing. We emailed them and to my surprise they s... Read More »

Fat Cats

Fat Cats

I was just watching TV, which I very rarely do, and caught an advert for cat treats, which made a feature out of the calorie count per treat! WTF?  Am I simple? Are people giving the cat the entire bag at a time? Can no one be trusted with standard c... Read More »

I'm sure this has happened to you

I'm sure this has happened to you

I'm sure this has happened to you.   You go into a shop, say Hello to a sales person, and they reply on auto pilot with something like Good thank you.  The last time this happened I actually pointed it out and said I didn't actually ask how... Read More »

NZ National Anthem

NZ National Anthem

Last night I found myself at school prize giving for my kids.  Some way into it, it was announced that we should all stand for the national anthem...here comes the rant.  1. I'm an agnostic, so the multiple use of 'God' is meaningless to me and... Read More »