Simons Photography - New Zealand Photographer
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Stupid

"Not everyone is not stupid"
~ Simonbook

Two Wolves

"There are two wolves who are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. The question is... which wolf wins?

- The one you feed."
~ Tomorrowland

The Subject of Cheese

"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

Information vs Knowledge

"You might know what a pack of cards is, but if you dont know any games, they are just coasters."
~ Simonbook

Failure in life

"A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life."
~ Christopher Morley

It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder...

"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."
~ Rumi

Half the harm

"Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it. Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves."
~ T. S. Eliot

Free House

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
~ Lewis Grizzard

A good example

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."
~ Mark Twain

Programming Sucks

"Right now someone who works for Facebook is getting tens of thousands of error messages and frantically trying to find the problem before the whole charade collapses. There's a team at a Google office that hasn't slept in three days. Somewhere there's a database programmer surrounded by empty Mountain Dew bottles whose husband thinks she's dead. And if these people stop, the world burns. Most people don't even know what sysadmins do, but trust me, if they all took a lunch break at the same time they wouldn't make it to the deli before you ran out of bullets protecting your canned goods from roving bands of mutants."
~ Peter Welch

Cure for seasickness

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
~ Spike Milligan

The Same Mistakes

"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
~ Tallulah Bankhead

Kamikaze Helmets

"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
~ Al McGuire

Rapper Clocks

"I wonder why as hip-hop got past the 1980s, that those homies didn't swap to wearing giant digital clocks around their necks..
Y'all know wut tiam it eez? 19:11pm yo!"
~ Simonbook

Your Parents

"If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance that you won't have any."
~ Clarence Day

Songs are Time Travel

"Songs really are like a form of time travel because they really have moved forward in a bubble. Everyone who's connected with it, the studio's gone, the musicians are gone, and the only thing that's left is this recording which was only about a three-minute period maybe 70 years ago."
~ Tom Waits

Hell for the company

"Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company."
~ Mark Twain

Mad World

"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..."
~ Gary Jules

Good Losers

"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser. "
~ Vince Lombardi

A high-powered mutant

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
~ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Stabbing Fools

"Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. Intelligent people take a knife, cut the cord, and set themselves free from the fools."
~ Unknown

Internet

"Don't drink and internet."
~ Alex Khouri

Die Screaming

"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did - in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car."
~ Bob Monkhouse

Im not racist but...

"Most stick figures are black."
~ Demetri Martin

Churches...

"Lighthouses are more helpful than churches."
~ Benjamin Franklin

Everybody is a genius

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
~ Albert Einstein

Risky Business

"If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough."
~ Unknown

Screamers

"People yawning in their cars on the way to work might well be screaming."
~ Simon

The Speed of Shadows

"Nothing in the universe can travel at the speed of light, they say, forgetful of the shadow's speed."
~ Howard Nemerov

Open Minded...

"By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out."
~ Richard Dawkins

When God talks back...

"When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic."
~ Jane Wagner

People Poem

"Some people are poetry, some are just mumbles."
~ Simon

Potatoes

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes."
~ Douglas Adams

Nunchucks

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for life. 
Give an octopus nunchucks, no one's eating fish ever again."
~ Unknown

Weird

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
~ Hunter S. Thompson

People

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
~ Maya Angelou

Adulthood

"True mark of adulthood: Instead of your parents scheduling your doctor's appointments, you just avoid going to the doctor and hope you don't die."
~ Unknown

Proofs

"What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof. "
~ Hitchens

Honesty

"One can never call a man honest until he's had the chance to steal. "
~ Unknown