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"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
~ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
"Right now someone who works for Facebook is getting tens of thousands of error messages and frantically trying to find the problem before the whole charade collapses. There's a team at a Google office that hasn't slept in three days. Somewhere there's a database programmer surrounded by empty Mountain Dew bottles whose husband thinks she's dead. And if these people stop, the world burns. Most people don't even know what sysadmins do, but trust me, if they all took a lunch break at the same time they wouldn't make it to the deli before you ran out of bullets protecting your canned goods from roving bands of mutants."
~ Peter Welch
"There are two wolves who are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. The question is... which wolf wins?
- The one you feed."
"If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance that you won't have any."
~ Clarence Day
"I wonder why as hip-hop got past the 1980s, that those homies didn't swap to wearing giant digital clocks around their necks..
Y'all know wut tiam it eez? 19:11pm yo!"
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."
~ Mark Twain
"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
~ Tallulah Bankhead
"Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it. Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves."
~ T. S. Eliot
"If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough."
"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
~ Lewis Grizzard
"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
~ Spike Milligan
"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
~ Gilbert K. Chesterton