Simons Photography - New Zealand Photographer
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Mad World

"The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had..."
~ Gary Jules

A high-powered mutant

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
~ Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas


"Lighthouses are more helpful than churches."
~ Benjamin Franklin

Programming Sucks

"Right now someone who works for Facebook is getting tens of thousands of error messages and frantically trying to find the problem before the whole charade collapses. There's a team at a Google office that hasn't slept in three days. Somewhere there's a database programmer surrounded by empty Mountain Dew bottles whose husband thinks she's dead. And if these people stop, the world burns. Most people don't even know what sysadmins do, but trust me, if they all took a lunch break at the same time they wouldn't make it to the deli before you ran out of bullets protecting your canned goods from roving bands of mutants."
~ Peter Welch

Two Wolves

"There are two wolves who are always fighting. One is darkness and despair. The other is light and hope. The question is... which wolf wins?

- The one you feed."
~ Tomorrowland

Your Parents

"If your parents didn't have any children, there's a good chance that you won't have any."
~ Clarence Day

Rapper Clocks

"I wonder why as hip-hop got past the 1980s, that those homies didn't swap to wearing giant digital clocks around their necks..
Y'all know wut tiam it eez? 19:11pm yo!"
~ Simonbook

A good example

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."
~ Mark Twain

The Same Mistakes

"If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner."
~ Tallulah Bankhead

Half the harm

"Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it. Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves."
~ T. S. Eliot


"One can never call a man honest until he's had the chance to steal. "
~ Unknown

Risky Business

"If you're not willing to risk it all, then you don't want it bad enough."
~ Unknown

It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder...

"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."
~ Rumi

Free House

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
~ Lewis Grizzard


"Not everyone is not stupid"
~ Simonbook

Cure for seasickness

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
~ Spike Milligan

Hell for the company

"Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company."
~ Mark Twain

The Subject of Cheese

"The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

Good Losers

"Show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser. "
~ Vince Lombardi